He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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