that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
