dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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