I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
