that's an acceptable place to lick
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
