Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just gift wrapped bread.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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