Please, let me fuck your mom
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize