i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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