I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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