Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Mom said you looked used
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
