and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
