the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
