Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
