Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
they need to just BURY HIM!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
