Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize