I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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