Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
