he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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