How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
