if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
