Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
