Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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