Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize