What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Randomize
