i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
