Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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