Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
high people should be assigned attendants
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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