i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize