Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
