oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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