# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
