I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How's work?
Spinning.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
