So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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