i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
