Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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