i wish there were pregnant emoticons
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
