Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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