I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
