when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
