She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My penis needs a shock collar
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
