ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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