I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I FOUND THE LEGS
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
