I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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