I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
