I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
