you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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