At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
