I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
