There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
