So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
