Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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