No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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