Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
time to smoke my breakfast
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I wear drunk well.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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