It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize