At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
