worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
