he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize