Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
