Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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