how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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